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Millennials Stopped Eating Cereal Because They Don’t Want to Clean Up Afterward

Millennials Stopped Eating Cereal Because They Don’t Want to Clean Up Afterward


According to a recent survey, 40 percent of Millennials stopped eating cereal because it’s an ‘inconvenient breakfast choice

Milk and cereal may be delicious, but cleaning a spoon and bowl afterward is too much effort for those silly 20-somethings.

Now that Millennials are all grown up, it’s “Honey Bunches of Oh No.”

Back when we were young, there was nothing better than eating a bowl of sugary cereal (preferably with colorful marshmallows or chocolate bits) in the morning. But According to a new survey by Mintel, 40 percent of Millennials abstain from bowls of cereal for breakfast because they don’t want to deal with cleaning up afterward, thus rendering it “an inconvenient breakfast choice.”

A piece from The New York Times explores why cereal brands are struggling to reach Millennials, who see a bowl of Rice Krispies or Fruit Loops as a dose of nostalgia rather than an everyday purchase. Sales of cereal have slumped 30 percent since 2000. According to The Times, people prefer to grab breakfast on-the-go or not eat anything at all rather than keep a stock of breakfast ingredients in their cupboards and fridge.

"Convenience is the one thing that’s really changing trends these days," Howard Telford, an industry analyst at market research firm Euromonitor, told The Washington Post.

Post and Kellogg should instead follow in Christina Tosi’s footsteps — the pastry chef entrepreneur who has made milk and cereal “cool again” with Milk Bar.

“They have to embrace that people love the flavor and texture of cereal and the vintage nature, but it’s not about breakfast,” Tosi told The New York Times.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.


Get Off of My Lawn and Start Eating Cereal Again

There is a national crisis afoot and it has nothing to do with taxes, trade, or immigration.

Breakfast cereals are going the way of the dinosaur.

I was a kid during the breakfast cereal heyday of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a glorious time to be alive. We might have only had three channels on our television sets, but we had 768 choices on the cereal aisle.

For several decades, cereal took on all comers. Any crazy breakfast concept or combination a food company could dream up went head-up in the battle against cereal and lost. It&rsquos true. A food chemist somewhere in Minnesota invented sweet rolls that could be stored in a can, whopped on the counter, and baked in the oven, and cereal still stayed at the top of the breakfast hierarchy. Then some doofus invented a &ldquopastry&rdquo with a quarter teaspoon of jelly in between two crusty pieces of crumbly, dry pie dough, labeled it a &ldquoPop Tart&rdquo and told people to cook it in their toaster. Cereal just laughed. As if that weren&rsquot enough, some bozo shrunk cheap waffles, froze them, and told people to take the Pop Tarts out of their toasters and replace them with frozen waffles. Cereal didn&rsquot budge.

Pardon me while I indulge in a get-off-of-my-lawn moment.

Then along came the millennials with their smoothies, yogurt, and cereal bars, and screwed up the natural order in the breakfast world.

Cereal sales in the United States were $14 billion 15 years ago. Now they&rsquove dropped to $10 billion a year. If I stopped eating cereal that national number would be several percentage points lower.

Again, millennials are screwing this up for the rest of us. In a recent survey I found in the New York Times, 40 percent of the millennials surveyed said cereal is an &ldquoinconvenient choice,&rdquo calling it &ldquotoo much trouble.&rdquo Say what? How hard is it to make a bowl of cereal? I&rsquove been doing it on my own since I was three-years old. You take a bowl out of the cabinet, pour cereal into it, pour milk on top of that, and then get a spoon out of the drawer and eat the cereal. That&rsquos it. It doesn&rsquot get much easier.

Though this has obviously become a tough task for some. When asked why they thought cereal was an inconvenience, most respondents complained about having to clean the bowl. Seriously, that was their beef. There&rsquos an easy answer to that&mdash get married. (authors note: the previous sentence is not a misogynistic or chauvinist statement. Not at all. It has nothing to do with my wife but has everything to do with the mysterious dish-washing fairy that lives and hides somewhere in my kitchen). I kid you not, something magical happened when I got married over 25 years ago. Every time I eat a bowl of cereal, I place the empty, dirty bowl in the sink, and MAGICALLY the next day it&rsquos back on the shelf where all of the cereal bowls are kept, and it&rsquos sparkling clean! It&rsquos amazing. I don&rsquot know what magical process happens in my kitchen, but it&rsquos truly a miracle. I tried telling my wife about this remarkable phenomenon that miraculously happens in our kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes.

Over 40 percent of baby boomers (that&rsquos me), and the generation before us, still eat the cereal that they ate as a kid. I can confirm that, as there are a dozen boxes of sugary kid&rsquos cereals in my kitchen cabinet as I type.

So, Kellogg&rsquos, Post, and General Mills have my generation to thank for keeping them afloat. The generation before us might have been the Greatest Generation and saved the world from rampant and unchecked tyranny, but it was my fellow boomers who saved so many other lives, such as Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Cap&rsquon Crunch, Count Chocula, Snap, Crackle, AND Pop! You are welcome, America.

Cap&rsquon Crunch is great. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it in the last 40 years. I still eat Count Chocula when I can find it. That&rsquos me. I grew up in the generation of Quisp and Quake. Those were the days when Corn Pops were called what they are, &ldquoSugar Pops,&rdquo and Frosted Flakes were called &ldquoSugar Frosted Flakes.&rdquo

Several years ago, David Chang&rsquos pastry chef, Christina Tosi, opened Milk Bar next to Chang&rsquos groundbreaking Momofuku in the East Village and had the brilliant idea to use cereal milk as the main ingredient when making ice cream. This woman needs a statue erected in her honor in the middle of Central Park. Such brilliance should be celebrated, celebrated often, and celebrated in marble and granite. Tosi claims to eat three bowls of cereal for dinner on some nights. That&rsquos my kind of woman. Kyle Medenhall, an executive chef in Boulder, Colorado, says, &ldquoEvery chef is probably a cereal guy because 90 percent of them go home at two in the morning and eat what&rsquos there because they don&rsquot want to cook anymore.&rdquo I second that.

As a kid, the cereal aisle was as appealing as the toy aisle, and that&rsquos probably because cereal used to come with toys inside. In the early 1970s, some cereals came with a 45 RPM record attached to the back cover of the box delivering an amazing morning trifecta of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and music.

As a kid, I could spend an hour browsing up and down the cereal aisle. I could still spend hours on the cereal aisle these days if it weren&rsquot shrunk by half thanks to those meddling kids and their protein bars and kale smoothies. Now get off of my lawn and start eating cereal again. All of you!

RSJ&rsquos Top 10 All-Time Cereals

10. Frosted Rice Krispies: How does one make Rice Krispies better? Coat them in sugar. Sold.

9. Fruit Loops: I&rsquove been eating this cereal, off and on, all of my life. It doesn&rsquot hold up as much as most of my other kid&rsquos cereal favorites and feels like &ldquoempty calories&rdquo more than the others&mdash not that most of them aren&rsquot, but that has never stopped me, even in adulthood.

8. Kellogg&rsquos Corn Pops: These used to be called &ldquoSugar Pops&rdquo because that is what they were, big puffed balls of corn liberally coated with refined sugar. Ah, the good ol&rsquo days.

7. Honey Nut Cheerios: These guys took a cue from the Frosted Rice Krispies team and did what any respectable food chemist this side of Clark Griswold would do, and when one of the suits on the 35 th floor told them, &ldquoCheerios are boring, what can we do?&rdquo The simple answer was&mdash coat them in modified corn starch and brown sugar syrup. Genius!

6. Smacks: This cereal used to be called Sugar Smacks back when cereal companies weren&rsquot so hung up on truth in advertising.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries: This is a grown-up cereal, and I understand I damage my reputation a little bit by including a cereal that every other 56-year old like me might eat, but it&rsquos good.

4. Frosted Flakes: I still eat Frosted Flakes with sliced bananas. It&rsquos a go-to when I am in the need of an on-the-go breakfast or quick snack in Italy, too. They&rsquore called Frosties over there, but it&rsquos the same cereal.

3. Count Chocula: If I would have compiled a top-ten list as a 12-year old, this cereal would have made it to number one with a bullet. It combined everything I was interested in at the time, chocolate, milk, and cartoon monsters.

2. Cap&rsquon Crunch: This is my go-to even today. Seriously, Cap&rsquon Crunch is awesome with sliced bananas on top. Don&rsquot knock it if you haven&rsquot tried it since the seventh grade (trust me, your taste buds haven&rsquot changed that much). I don&rsquot eat it in the morning but as a late-night snack. Just don&rsquot tell my cardiologist. Any time spent with the Cap&rsquon is time well spent, indeed.

1. Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches: OK, so I put a grown-up cereal at number one, but it&rsquos the best cereal ever invented, and the numbskulls at Post discontinued it for some reason. It was so good that if they ever decided to re-release it on a limited run, I would buy a truckload and figure out how to cryogenically preserve all of the boxes to make it all last several years. Instead, I&rsquom stuck with the aforementioned Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries.